You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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