Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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