im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
