VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You are the jesus of drinking
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
