I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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