In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
