I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The power of my boobs compel you
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
