It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
