i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Someone came in the potted fern
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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