i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The chlamydia really affected his face.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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