Can i not drive my cunt home
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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