8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize