Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Randomize
