no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
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