somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
