He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
