HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
