he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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