Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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