A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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