Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
