i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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