I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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