i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I party with great urgency now.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
