You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
