i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize