Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
