So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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