Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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