Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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