maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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