Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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