he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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