So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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