Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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