doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
