Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
