honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
