shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
