hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
