hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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