So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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