Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
