When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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