Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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