we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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