i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
