There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
