And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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