now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Text me some of your sweat
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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