Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
