i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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