We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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