i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
