wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
