I just cut my nipple shaving
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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