i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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