You smell like a Billy Joel song
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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