it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize
