k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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