just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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