Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
