Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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