but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You need a sexual gate keeper
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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