Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
