Those balls look pretty dangerous.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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