He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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