he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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