Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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