i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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