she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
