hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
